Week 5 : Indie Exposed

Contents

What does spirituality mean to you?

Have you ever woken up and just felt “good?” I’m not talking about the adrenaline type of good when you’re anticipating or expecting something special to be happening that day. I mean the really clear, calm, all-encompassing type of “good.”

It’s when you feel optimistic and at peace, even when the day’s events may be less than ideal. This feeling is your Indie, your higher self. We aren’t just talking about how you practice your spirituality.

You may go to Church, Meditate, or do Yoga - which is wonderful; however it does NOT mean you’re plugging into your Indie.
We are going to talk about practicing (i.e. doing) vs. being in your Indie. The New Yorker is your doing, the Frenchie is your enjoying and the Indie is your being.

I want to share a story with you… I was raised very Catholic and so Sunday Mass was a big deal in my family. There were four of us children that my mom needed to get ready and out the door for church on Sunday. Now let me tell you, this was not an easy task!
It was very often chaos around the house on Sunday morning, and I can remember smiling inside as we headed out to Church to practice our spirituality as my mom slowly cursed under her breath that we were going to be late.

You see the Indie is not what you are doing; it’s WHO you are BEING inside when the chaos is going on around you.
The first time I truly understood the Indie was when I was back in New York for my Grandma Rose's funeral - you have probably heard me speak of her before...

She was my Frenchie influence as well as a beautiful guide to my Indie - more so after she passed. She passed away 5 months to the day after my son Mason. We were extremely close and I was so angry, so lost and so confused that two people I loved so dearly would be torn from me so close together in time.

I was in her bathroom crying and when I looked up, I noticed a plaque. I froze. The plaque said, "Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm." The whole room stood still, I felt light for a moment, aware of my own breath - I was truly present, and seeing those words for the first time made my skin tingle. Being raised Catholic I had heard the serenity prayer many, many times, but I had never stopped to consider the intricacy of the words. Now here it was in front of me and it made so much sense, the inner calm I could tap into amid the chaos was my serenity... both my Indie and Yours.

"Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm."

The Indie is the sameness, the oneness, consistency, remaining in the eye of the storm, your inner state of “knowing.”

I want to ask you a few questions…

What did we learn?

Think back for a minute on growing up, in your formative years. Were you told you were a good girl? Did you begin to associate yourself and your behavior as one entity?

Many of us were taught to identify ourselves with our feelings, our desires, our opinions, our bodies and our roles. Here lies the problem…

If you identify yourself with a particular idea which you love and cherish, and if that idea turns out to be wrong, then you think to yourself, “I AM WRONG.” If your sole focus is to identify with your body and you receive power and success from your body - and your body then changes, and is no longer your "ideal" body, you simply don’t like yourself anymore.

I experienced identification with my role strongly after Mason died. I had so deeply associated myself with the role of mother, that when he died, so in a sense did I as well. My identity was so closely connected with being a mother that I felt diminished, lost and confused without it.

Think about your current roles as a wife, a mother, a business woman...

In what ways are you equating your identity to those roles? Share them below and pay special attention to how connected you are to each role.

Now answer the following question for each identity:

This role makes me feel...

Identity:

Identity:

Identity:

Since these things inevitably change if you’re basing your identity on roles, desires or physical form, this identification will inevitably die.

However, when you are truly connected to your Indie and allow yourself to FEEL the intention behind the roles, desires or physical forms, THEN you allow yourself to become timeless!

This week I want you to focus on your intentions, and I don’t mean just a simple thought. Many women are familiar with this process, but very few do it correctly. I want you to do two things regarding intention this week:

1. Create three "I AM" statements, one for each of your three femme-types. For example:

*I am lovingly and with the greatest of ease receiving hundreds of millions of dollars through my Elegant Femme business as I change the World one panty at a time.

*I am gracefully and elegantly expressing my own beauty while lovingly tending to my body and my relationships.

*I am peaceful, powerful and purposeful as I allow myself to BE who I am in any given moment.

Ok, so there are some examples for you. Now create one for each of your three women.

• a.)
• b.)
• c.)

2. Now I want you to think about your intention to live Your Perfect, and who is it you want to BE in every situation?

Do you want to be joyous while celebrating little moments? Do you want to be alive and juicy? This is crucial because if you do NOT do this step, you will miss out on your life, Your Perfect.

Who do you want to be, and how do you want to FEEL in your roles?

Write it down here for each of your roles…

For example:

In my role as a mother I want to feel alive, present and aware of this beautiful gift. I want to enjoy the little pleasures with my children; blowing bubbles, taking baths, and reading them stories. I want to breathe in the awareness of each moment so as not to miss a single second.

Do you see the difference in asking who you want to be and how you want to feel, verses allowing yourself to become over-identified with the role?

The same goes for your business, and for your relationships. What do you want to feel as a business owner - who do you want to BE?

Asking yourself these fundamental questions will change the way you act and REACT to your role. You will be so much more gratified when you approach life this way. You will feel fulfilled, complete, and you will no longer be searching for a better x, y, z.

Sweet Surrender…

As you begin to surrender to life and to your Indie, I want to emphasize a distinction. This is NOT about being numb or disengaged; on the contrary this will allow you to connect more deeply with yourself and those you love. As you begin to lessen your feelings of identification with outcomes, notice what happens to your anxiety…

As you begin to focus on who you want to BE rather then the role you are playing at that given moment, you will feel your Indie.

Ok, so how do we do that? I want you to take a look at the bonus you received for this course regarding goals. Notice that as you are creating this system for yourself, most of it is based on how you are feeling about what you want to accomplish, not just setting goals. If you have not yet taken advantage of this bonus, I highly suggest you do. This wasn’t something we simply threw in here, it’s vital for assisting you with discovering what you are really feeling, desiring and wanting in your life.

What happens if we forget the Indie?

If you have neglected your Indie, your sense of self, you will be easily identified with others around you - your husband, your kids, your business, your clients and you will feel massive pulls of emotion. Increasing and decreasing drama, acceptance and rejection will rule you. You will be absorbed by others wants, needs and opinions. This is where healthy boundaries, respect for yourself and drawing that gorgeous gold cord around WHO you really are becomes crucial.

As you begin to enhance the Indie, you will find yourself more able to course-correct when stressful events come into your life, and you will feel yourself being more present when relating to others. Your intuition and higher self will become clearer and more audible as you tap into the power of the Indie. The incredible energy from self-realization and "beingness" that comes with the Indie, will dispel any excessive need for approval from others, and allow you to regain your balance... YOUR Perfect.

I want you to start to ask yourself how you "feel" about a certain situation. Now, as women we may have been made fun of for connecting with our feelings. My husband still sometimes sings, "I get so emotional baby..." But listen, this is a side of you that you cannot push away; the Indie is your inner compass. You need to know how you FEEL about a situation before you ask others. Plug into your Indie and hear your core BEFORE you have that conversation with your husband, kids, friend, co-worker or client.

*Quick Tip*

When your kids come and ask you your advice, ask them how they FEEL about it. First give your child the right to their own feelings, and don’t ever tell them that what they are feeling is wrong. This is a golden opportunity to change the course of humanity as we begin to open up to our own truth and give ourselves permission to truly feel our own feelings. Our Indie operates on feelings, and it’s our intuitive guide.

Guided Vision for YOUR Perfect Life…

We are going to participate in a guided closed-eyes process to assist you in connecting with your Indie. Please take the time to do this in a quiet space and allow yourself this gift. AS soon as we are done with the guided vision, I suggest you write in your journal as much detail as you possibly can. Remember to feel the connection…

Action Steps:

• Create Your “I AM” statements
• Complete bonus 1
• Have you named Your New Yorker, Your Frenchie and Your Indie?
• How have they supported you throughout this course?
• What have you already learned about yourself?

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