I used to tolerate a lot in my life. I would tolerate it by making excuses of why something I didn’t like was that way or why I couldn’t change it. Even more likely, I would assume it was someone’s fault or responsibility to change it.  Over the years I have learned what it really means to tolerate.

It is an excuse not to take responsibility for what I really desire. It’s another way of playing the victim.

We really have been taught that tolerating is a good thing: We are taught that tolerating means we can “put up” with it, that tolerating it makes us stronger or more worthy.

The truth is tolerating just makes you exhausted and resentful.  I want to share with you how you can stop tolerating in your life as well, and it is way easier then you think.

1.)  Make a list of all the things you are currently tolerating in your life (Yes, all
the way down to the bathroom drawer with the toothpaste smears in it.)
Honestly, it is amazing what we put up with!

2.)  Ask yourself why you have been tolerating it, and be honest.
Did you want someone else to do it?  Did you tell yourself you didn’t
have time?

3.)  Stop tolerating it!  Really it is that simple, either take care of it
or change the way you feel about it.  When we stop tolerating things in our lives
it doesn’t mean they have to change. We can change the way we feel about them
and release the need to tolerate ANYTHING in our lives.  Believe me this saved
my relationship with my father- in- law, because I wasn’t about to get rid of Dave;0

Life is too short to tolerate anything.  It drains our energy and leaves us feeling
inauthentic and unfulfilled.  Do yourself a favor this year and follow
the above steps.  Watch what happens to your energy.

As a woman, it’s important that we learn to say “Yes”.

We all have fears and that’s totally natural. Sometimes you need time to figure out what you want to say “Yes” to!

But don’t hesitate too long. Saying “Yes” is powerful: It is where  the divine feminine meets the universe, and gives us the ability to manifest all that we truly want and desire.

I spent much of my early life holding back. Even though I was raised to believe I could do anything, I often felt I didn’t know how to seize  the opportunities around me. I wanted to say “YES”, even though so much
of the time I heard myself saying “NO”…. or what’s worse “I don’t know.”  I didn’t know what I wanted, and I was scared to take the risk of saying “YES”.

After all, what’s the worse thing that can happen when we say “Yes”?  Yes is a powerful, life-affirming statement. Try it: “Yes I want that”.  “Yes I can do that!”  ”Yes, I want more pleasure, more money,
more fulfillment.”

As women, there are many ways to say “Yes”.

1) Explore: Exploring is one way of saying “YES”! If you don’t know exactly
what you want, explore what’s around you! Find out what feels good, what looks
good, what brings you a sense of joy and excitement. Try out new clothes,
new flavors, a new haircut….

2) Create: Create something every day. This can be something simple
like creating an outfit that you want to wear out on the town, or creating

a playlist for yourself or a friend. Creating is a way of saying YES, and inviting possibilities into your life.

3) Write down what you really want: Journaling is a fabulous way to begin
manifesting your deepest desires. Be specific when you can. What do you want
to have? How do you want feel?

4) Be beautiful: I always find that when I look good, I actually start to feel better.
I’m saying Yes– I’m beautiful, sensual and I’m ready for life.  Wear your favorite
earrings, treat yourself to a a long bubble bath,  splurge on a new nail polish or
something that makes you feel sexy and ignite your Frenchie! (This doesn’t
have to be expensive: Something fun and playful will do just fine!)

5) Don’t set limits: So many of the women I know immediately talk themselves
of their dreams and desires. Don’t set so many limits! Imagine what you want to
be when you grow up (yes, even if you’re already grown up!) and imagine them fully.

6) Follow your instincts: This comes down to trust. Trust yourself to imagine
what you want. Eventually you will start actually manifest
what you want.

7) Ask for help: Saying yes sometimes means asking for help. Your Indie
requires asking for help sometimes! Find mentors. Seek out the company
of other Elegant Femmes. Read books that help you discover more about yourself.

8 ) Challenge yourself: Your New Yorker wants a challenge! Find opportunities
to engage in healthy challenges. Maybe that’s taking a hot-flow yoga class for
the first time, maybe it’s setting a goal to save more money, looking for a new job,
or doing something that excites (and maybe scares you just a little bit!)

9) Finally, make a choice: If you don’t want to say “Yes” to something,
then by all means say “No.” Saying No is actually a way we can allow room
in our lives for other ideas and feelings to manifest.

1.) My boys
2.) My gorgeous breasts
3.) My amazing hair
4.) My strong lean legs
5.) My flat tummy
6.) The precious mother Earth
7.) The love I feel from my mom
8.) My Dads green eyes
9.) Doms passion’
10.) Daves incredible lips
11.) My limitless creativity
12.) Our gorgeous home
13.) The French Alpes
14.) Nico’s contagious laugh
15.) My Dads poems
16.) Mom’s pea soup
17.) Mike’s assertiveness
18.) Chris’ tender heart
19.) L’s vulnerability
20.) USM
21.) What Bob has taught me about myself
22.) My dreams
23.) That I did it, I live in FRANCE
24.) The money we have created
25.) My love of French
26.) Fresh organic food
27.) A hot cup of dash tea
28.) My flower from Christina
29.) Christina and Fred’s trust
30.) Lonneke’s style
31.) Gerard’s humor
32.) Crisp white sheets
33.) A gorgeous view of the snow capped mountains
34.) The smell of lavender
35.) A passing cloud
36.) My fragrant yellow roses
37.) My olive tree
38.) My fig tree
39.) The chirping of birds
40.) The colors of fall
41.) The sunlight as it streams through the trees
42.) My team
43.) Making love to Dave
44.) The soft gentle breeze
45.) Laying in the grass, feeling the earth
46.) Our Porsche
47.) My healthy digestion
48.) The freedom to give
49.) Cozy cashmere
50.) Deep red beets
51.) Warm goat cheese salads
52.) The internet
53.) The color yellow
54.) Nicos soft skin
55.) Dave’s deep brown eyes
56.) When Dave kisses me on the forehead
57.) Dom’s passion for soccer
58.) My incredible clients
59.) My courage to do what I love and live the life of my dreams
60.) Hot toast with sea salted butter
61.) A perfect poached egg
62.) Butternut squash soup
63.) Fresh pumpkin soup with roasted almonds
64.) Breathing deeply
65.) Ellie and her vision of world change
66.) Fabienne and her ability to love and gift so authentically
67.) Derek and the way he supports and loves
68.) Dom’s willpower and strength to stand up for what he believes in
69.) Nico’s humor and dance moves
70.) Dave’s sauce and eggplant parm
71.) Mom’s singing on the guitar
72.) The memories of mom rubbing my back and singing “Rock a by, don’t you cry”
73.) Dave’s trust and undying support
74.) My femmetypes
75.) My ability to coach and lead
76.) My gift of expansion
77.) My beauty
78.) My hazel eyes
79.) My vision to change the world
80.) Rose and her belief in me
81.) My god daughter
82.) Rose’s humble and giving nature, her unending support
83.) Flying first class
84.) The color orange
85.) My love of design
86.) My natural ability for style
87.) My memories of Grandma Rose
88.) Grandma Joan and what she has taught us
89.) Daniella’s beautiful open nature
90.) Soft frilly lingerie and silk
91.) Incredible Italian Leather boots
92.) Fresh peach Ice Cream
93.) Aunt Patti’s dedication to service
94.) What Aunt Pat has taught me about being feminine
95.) Mason
96.) The gift of compassion
97.) Heartache
98.) My triathlon experience
99.) A warm fire on a cold French winter night
100.) My ability to grow
101.) This lifetime

This past week, I realized one of my biggest fears. I can see now how this has been stopping me from taking the next step in my business as a woman.  You see, so many of us have this fear and yet it can be hard to identify because we get very good at hiding it under the “Nurturing” umbrella when in fact it really falls under the “Over Compensating” umbrella.

I am talking about the fear of not being needed.  I realized this fear has kept me from sharing my truth and has actually given me a place to be NEEDED instead.

When I asked my FemmeTypes where this was coming from my Frenchie very loudly spoke up.  It has been her fear for some time: The fear of not being needed by someone.  This fear is so strong that in my past, I have created emotional bonds that weren’t healthy. In fact, they were co-dependent. I had the NEED to have others NEED me.

I want to share with you how you can release this in your own life, because if you are holding on to being NEEDED you are stopping yourself from expanding into who you are really meant to be and your soul NEEDS that!

1. Identify if you have created this in your relationships. The best way you know for sure is if you find yourself saving people, being the mediator in relationships, and trying to pick up all the pieces to make sure everyone is “OK”.

2. Ask the tough question “Why am I afraid of not being needed?”  What does it mean to you if you are not needed?  For me it felt like I would be obsolete, discarded, unimportant.  It is crucial for you to be real with your answer, though this may sting.

3. Allow yourself to honor your truth. Creating emotional blackmail so we can be needed is not a powerful place for us to come from as women.  Instead talk to your Frenchie and secure your relationship with you.  As scary as it feels sometimes, that is the relationship you NEED.

If you are afraid of not being needed you are impacting your ability to live a sensual life. Sensuality brings freedom and liberation, free yourself from the fear of being needed and watch how your Frenchie will soar.

As a woman, I’m sure you’ve experienced the feeling of guilt before. This is a feeling so many of us share — about our bodies,  our desires, and our sense of self– and yet we have no idea how to remove the guilt and let our FemmeTypes really shine.

If you’ve ever felt guilty about wanting more — about wanting what you truly deserve — read on. I want to share with you a simple process I’ve created that will remove the guilt and allow more space in your life for what you really want.

One of the questions I used to hear myself ask was  “Tara, isn’t this good enough? Don’t you already have ENOUGH? I mean, do you really require more?”

It got me thinking. Yes, I do require more. Yes, I deserve even more.  So, my next question was: “How do I make more space for the next pieces of my life to manifest? How do I let in what I really, truly want? How do I release the guilt so I can get more of what I desire?

I’ve created a practice I call “The Sensual Clearing Technique” that will open all your FemmeTypes, release guilt, and allow more pleasure into your life.

Maybe your Frenchie feels she needs more room to improve her relationship.  Or that her body requires more space to release and feel truly sensual.  Maybe your Indie feels guilty for not being balanced or your New Yorker feels overwhelmed and unfulfilled with not enough time and energy to get it all done.

If you have ever felt you didn’t have enough space, enough time, or if you simply feel guilty for wanting more in your life, then The Sensual Clearing Technique is for you.

The Sensual Clearing Technique for all your Femme Types

T3 + F3=GUILT FREE

The three T’s have become a critical part of my own personal formula and I want to share them with you.  Gift yourself the opportunity to complete this exercise for whatever it is you are wanting in your life and you will then have space to receive it without GUILT.

The three T’s are Trust, Truth, and Treasure.

1.  Trust yourself enough to know that what you desire comes from a place of good intention.

2. Tell yourself the Truth about why you really want this and why you have been stopping yourself from having it.  This step is huge and may also require you telling someone else your truth.  For example if you are wanting more money in your life but have yet to pay your tax bill you are lying to yourself and that guilt will block you from receiving more prosperity.  If you want a more intimate relationship with your husband but you are hiding a piece of truth from him, then your guilt will stop you from fully receiving the love that awaits.  Tell the truth.

3. Treasure: Your treasure awaits if you allow yourself to really ask for it.  What is the treasure you are seeking?  Say it out loud. Say the full extent of it, not the watered down version. For example if you are wanting to bring in 100,000K a year and you find yourself saying “Well, OK, I will take 50K,” then you are lying to yourself and the guilt will seep in. Not only will you not make the 100k you will also not make the 50k because it is not the real treasure that excites you.

4.  Ignite Your FemmeTypes. Once you have established your T3, the next step is igniting your FemmeTypes.  Do the T3 process for your Frenchie, your Indie and your New Yorker.  Once you have completed T3+F3 you will be able to answer the allowing questions for whatever you are wanting in your life.

5.  Ask these questions and write down your answers.

Why do I want more?

What is the intention of wanting it?

Which one of my FemmeTypes will be supported?

Then you will be able to receive what you desire without the GUILT.

I look forward to hearing about your success when you release the guilt and receive what you are really wanting in a sensual way.

Enjoy the SCT (Sensual Clearing Technique) and allow yourself to receive ALL that you really desire in this life without the guilt!

Love,

Tara

As I was out for my walk this morning I was thinking about this subject, I have in my own journey encountered an exact correlation between how much money I was making verses how many excuses I was allowing myself to make.

Some gorgeous yellow daffodils caught my eye and I began to smile, there is a hint of spring in the air here in France and as I thought of those flowers I thought wow they are brave, how do they know we are not going to get another cold spell, what if it snows again?

Then I caught myself laughing, “Flowers don’t make excuses!”  I heard myself say out loud.  They follow their instincts, they TRUST, and then they flourish.

When we allow ourselves to make excuses we disempower ourselves and block our ability to prosper. Check out this short video I made for you where I give you some quick tips of what you can do right now to step out of excuse making and into money making.

Seriously excuse making is something that affects us all know and then, so watch the video now (no excuses;)

If you are interested in the children’s book I mention in the video you can get it here.
No Excuses!: How What You Say Can Get In Your Way

I’d love to hear your comments on this whole excuse thing;)  What areas in your life you do you want to stop making excuses?  What has worked for you… How do you remove excuses from your life and Trust.  Please share your thoughts below.  

Tara

“I want a French baby…” I whispered under my breath

“WHAT????”  I heard my husband scream.

I walked up grabbed his hands and looked deep into his eyes like only a wife can.

“WHAT??”  I heard him scream again, like only a passionate Italian can;0

So why am I sharing this personal conversation  with you?

For a couple of reasons, first of all you need to know that this feeling, this desire to have another baby is in NO WAY logical.  In fact it is physically impossible without a revisit to the doctor for my husband.

We were actually advised from the medical community to not have any more babies after our last one due to some well…  Anyway, I feel it and there is something deep inside of me that knows.

Even though it may not make sense to everyone else… sometimes it doesn’t have to.  When you have a desire it is important that you allow yourself to express it and not be afraid of what others may think.  I just experienced this when we moved to France with two little boys.

I get so many emails asking me how I have done it, how I am living in France, how I actually live my desires, my truth.  So I want to share with you what is necessary and what so many of us fail to do.

If you want to know how you can really live your desires, here are the first simple steps

1.)  Allow yourself to feel what it is you really desire

2.)  Voice it out loud to someone else (regardless of their reaction) this is what I did with Dave and what  I am now doing with you

3.)  Take some action steps to allow yourself to move towards it (these can be simple)

4.)  Let go and detach (this is where people especially women make a huge mistake)

You must detach from the outcome. You then must trust that what happens from that point is divine.  I see so many women afraid they wont get what they want so they keep their desires hidden inside, afraid to voice them (even to themselves.)

So will we have our French baby?  Only time will tell…what is important is I allowed myself to feel and voice my desires.  Feel free to email Dave at dave@elegantfemme.com to rally for me (just kidding…kind of)

I’d love to hear what secret desires are you holding inside?  Share them on the blog.

• First allow yourself to feel them, feel the depth of the desire.  Feel your TRUTH
• Then allow yourself to voice that desire out loud and TRUST.
• Before you know it you will be receiving your TREASURE.

Stay tuned because I am going to be birthing something incredible to you next week…something that will support you in achieving your own desires, whatever they may be.

Love,
T

With love and beauty always… Tara Marino
P.S I welcome your comments!

OK so here we are at the New Year and there is something I CANT afford.

I made a commitment to myself some time ago that I would never let these words be a part of my vocabulary again… but this is something I truly CANT afford.

So what am I talking about?  Well first let me say that about 2 years ago I got so tired of saying I CANT afford it, that I promised to never make that an excuse again.

But there is one thing I truly cannot afford and that has actually helped skyrocket my business by over 215% this past year.

One of the things I promote when I am working with women is how to optimize their environment to get the results they are seeking.  This is one of the most feminine things you can do for your business.  Often I have found that when you take the time to optimize your surroundings in a way that truly supports you, results will flow to you with ease and grace.  I cannot stress how important this is.

So what one thing can I not afford?  I cannot afford to watch TV.  I really meant that!  We made this decision together as a family about two years ago and it changed everything.  If you really want what you say you want then I suggest you give this a try.  Since taking TV out of our lives we have more time, we are more clearly focused, we feel more (and this can be tough at times since we often use TV to numb out.)

This was not the easiest thing for us to do.  My husband Dave put up quite a fight (and I have to admit a piece of me was addicted to the The House Wives of Orange County-shameful I know).  Now I will say we still rent movies and DVD’s, we just saw The Tourist (Angelina Jolie is a very Elegant Femme in this one, she has her Frenchie on for sure.)

So when it comes to optimizing your environment what things can you NO longer afford?

*Television?

*Negative people?

*Negative thoughts/emotions?

*Overindulging (shopping, food, drinking)?

Now is a great time to look at what/where you are spending your time and money.  If they are not helping you achieve more prosperity, pleasure and balance then look elsewhere.  I guarantee something will present itself and you will have your desired results quickly.  Just be open when the opportunity arises.

Give yourself a new space and get rid of the things you can’t afford so you can give yourself permission to receive the things you really want.

Happy New Year!

Sensually Yours,

Tara